Screen Seeking: Online Dating Increases Connection in a Small Town
Friday night, junior accounting major Aiden Wahrenbrock is sitting in his best outfit waiting for his date to arrive, the catch: they’ve never met face-to-face. The most commonly used dating app among college students is Tinder, with 12% of college students using it at least once a month, according to Site at Penn State. Wahrenbrock believes that the small-town aspect of Kirksville affects dating because there a fewer people to meet.
“For online dating, you can get a wider range of people to meet compared to Kirksville because it’s a small community,” Wahrenbrock said. “Overall, my experience with online dating has been positive. I’ve been on a few dates, and they were enjoyable.”
Freshman Hanna O’Rourke believes the close-knit Kirksville community reduces risk when online dating and often takes time to walk around town with her date before getting into the car with them, ensuring she knows them well enough before putting herself in a tricky situation.
“Walking around with them helps me feel out the vibe, and then I always carry my pepper spray with me just in case,” O’Rourke said. “I’d say I’d talk to them online a week or two before actually meeting up with them.”
While students tend to have a positive outlook on dating apps, Truman State University’s Assistant Chief of Police Chad Whittom is more skeptical of online dating.
“People tend to take things more at face value in the online world than they do in the physical world, and sometimes I think that can cause some real problems and concerns,” Whittom said.
Throughout 14 years in his position with the University, Whittom has predominantly encountered students who have been victims of online scams. Online scammers attempt to steal information, money and data from their targets by giving misleading or false information.
“There’s so much that you have a difficult time verifying when you’re talking to somebody online,” Whittom said. “I mean, they can say they’re anybody. They can send you a picture that could be anybody.”
Even students who are normally cautious in their daily lives can be manipulated by scammers who ask for money, promise money, or send threats. In cases involving online scammers, Whittom and his team act quickly, contacting the social media platform where the scam occurred. However, once information is out in the digital world, it can be incredibly difficult and even impossible to take back. For this reason, Whittom stresses the importance of teaching students safe online habits, such as being careful about the information being shared, to prevent scams. Whittom advises against giving out personal or identifying information and photos before confirming the identity of the other person. One easy way to verify information about someone is to do simple internet searches.
After establishing a good connection with someone online and verifying that they’re a real person, Whittom recommended going out to a public place or bringing a friend along for a first date. Having friends with you ensures that if the other person has bad intentions, they won’t be able to act on them.
“I always say a person [who] has a bad intention wants two things,” Whittom said. “They want an easy target, and they want anonymity.”
If you don’t want to bring people along with you, there are other ways to keep in contact with friends while out. Apps such as Life360 can allow others to track their location to ensure someone always knows where they are.
The precautions that one takes before meeting up with someone they’ve met on a dating app are imperative to the interactions they have throughout the meetup. In addition to making sure people know where she is, O’Rourke likes to find people with whom she has mutual friends to make the meet-up easier and ensure more safety.
“I’ve gone out with a couple of people, and one of them I did go out with on campus,” O’Rourke said. “That person and I met up pretty quickly after, because it was easier. We had mutuals.”
Warhenbrock reflects these similar safety precautions while stressing the importance of taking the initial conversation off the dating app. Snapchat, which allows individuals to send pictures back and forth, is highly recommended by Warhenbrock, who finds the ability to see who you are talking to to be important to safety.
Overall, Warhenbrock has had a positive experience with online dating and appreciates the ability to meet up with different types of people. The one major piece of advice he gives is to make your intentions apparent and communicate clearly, due to the fact that not everyone is looking for the same type of relationship.
“I would recommend online dating to others at Truman,” Wahrenbrock said. “ If they want to just get to know more people and have a different experience than what they currently have. It allows you to work on communication more than anything.”
