“Nosferatu” (2024) is cheesy, stupid and loud. A classic that made its name on moody, evocative storytelling has been transformed into a rickety theme park ride. The film’s most impressive feat is a product of this dumb-it-down philosophy — creating a Nosferatu more cartoonish than the one from “Spongebob Squarepants.”
“Nosferatu” (2024) follows the same storyline as both the 1922 and 1979 films but in an astoundingly less creative manner. Even on its own merits, the tension it attempts to build is frequently compromised by its need to prove it is, truly, a horror film. Bodies convulse, blood rockets out of tears in flesh and vomit flows freely from the mouths of Count Orlok’s victims. The heavy focus on visceral terror suggests director Robert Eggers didn’t trust the audience to sense the shadowy giant who lives in a decrepit castle is, in fact, a bad dude. It is ironic a film that tries so hard to assault its viewers with grotesque imagery is also so unsure of itself. The audience is shown a tidal wave of carnage, and at the same time they are assured it is only done by one-dimensional caricatures to uniquely unlucky people.
Count Orlok AKA Nosferatu himself has historically been portrayed as everything from an out-of-touch, theatrical menace to a lonely, but articulate interloper. The 2024 version, played by Bill Skarsgård, has more in common with a wild animal than any classic movie monster. He’s meant to make the audience react rather than think — another product of the insecurity that drives this film. The true horror of the classic Nosferatu is how, despite his demonic origins, he desires love, companionship and freedom from isolation, all motives that are all too human. To replace that with a Nosferatu that is nothing more than an embodiment of a craving and destruction is a major disservice to the character. The change in focus is not even convincing. An overwrought string section, obnoxious jump cuts and refusal to let tension simmer mean the film itself is Nosferatu’s right-hand man, ready at any moment to dictate the “correct” way to feel — but what’s entertaining about a set of instructions?
The feminist themes of Nosferatu, which were always a fundamental part of the story, are sadly at their weakest in the 2024 version. Now more than ever, Count Orlok is an ever present, unstoppable threat to Ellen, played by Lily-Rose Depp, who is the object of his desires across adaptations. As a result, Ellen’s agency is born from a need to defend herself and her ability to love freely from an abuser’s longtime conditions, rather than from the independent choice to take action against a new, terrifying threat. In a rush to convey the horror in powerlessness, “Nosferatu” (2024) claims women should expect to be victims before they can be strong.
If you want to watch a Nosferatu film, the original 1922 version or the 1979 remake are both memorable works, and they explore the same story in a far more engaging manner. If you want exciting horror media about vampires, try the “Castlevania” videogame series. Not only do they pay better homage to Nosferatu than its remake, but they also have superior action, richer atmosphere and less insulting messages about agency. If you want to feel annoyed, overstimulated and like you could be doing something better with your time, try banging your head against the nearest wall. In doing so, you engage with something that has more substance than “Nosferatu” (2024).