She wears Marc Jacobs “Daisy de Parfum” over her lacy red top. Her lean legs slink around the nightclub in heels higher than Kurt Cobain after a night out and Lana Del Rey writes music about the way her hair falls into place like a crown of perfection. She’s always the other woman. The femme fatale cultural archetype with an air of spite who swoops in and maliciously separates the cookie-cutter-all-American couple and alludes to the idea that beautiful women are difficult for men to deal with and therefore should be seen as a threat. A homewrecker.
The entire mythos surrounding the concept of “the other woman” historically paints her as an alluring, provocative, vulgar temptress. When men are placed in similar contexts or situations they are termed a “ladies’ man” or a “player,” expressions that lack the same vengeance that is used for their female counterparts. Society is inevitably influenced by the media and vice versa, and this perpetuating stereotype is continuously used to project ideas of female scapegoating. This one-sided blame-placing decreases the amount of flack that the man receives when in a dishonest relationship with another woman and establishes the understanding that women should be shamed for their sexuality — whereas men deserve to be celebrated for it.
Adam Levine was notably called out for cheating on his pregnant wife during September 2022. The tabloids jumped on the opportunity to cover such a sensational story, yet chose to angle it in a way that diverted all anger onto Sumner Stroh, the young Instagram model — or, “other woman.” Once the seal of secrecy was broken and word got around of the situation, Stroh received immense hatred and was shrouded in vile comments covering her social media pages.: Sshe knew he was married, she knew he had children, how could she be so callous. Cheating is a two-lane road and neither party is innocent, but focusing the execration on Stroh diverts the attention away from Levine and discounts the fact that he was the father of two children who most definitely knew he was married and had responsibility to them and still chose to pursue a sexual relationship with someone other than his wife.
The sexist double standard treatment in the Levine scandal accentuates the idea that guys simply can’t help themselves and women should take more precautions to ensure that they don’t tempt men into any wrongdoings. “Boys will be boys” is a phrase that indefinitely takes all accountability away from the man and, in turn, pits women against each other in a competition for male affection. The media typically tells the story of the wife finding out about the mistress and immediately acquiring contempt for her and her youthful seduction. In reality, the female sympathetic bond would most likely lead to a more commiserating nature in which the women discuss what has occurred.
“The other woman will always cry herself to sleep,” Del Rey sings. “The other woman will never have his love to keep.” The reputation of a woman who finds herself with this title of “other” or “mistress” becomes a harlot, her reputation tarnished because no one likes a homewrecker. As culture progresses into more mainstream media, there is hope that this timeworn trope will fade out with age. It is important to recognize the consequences of the art we create and the actions that pop culture can inspire in society. Entertainment incites action, not just pleasure.