Diary of a Girl

This is the latest in TMN staff writer Allison Maschoff’s collection of short fiction stories.

Nov. 2

“Okay, so based on the way these sticks here are broken next to this pattern in the dirt and the direction of the wind, I’d say they went left.”

My eyebrow quirked in amazement. “You can really tell all that from this?” I gesture to the forest surrounding us.

Kenny smirked. “Of course not, you idiot! Myra sent me a text. We’re supposed to meet them over by the cafe.” He stalked off toward the path leading east, his hiking boots making crunching noises as they smothered the fallen leaves. 

I’m sure it doesn’t surprise you to learn that I am not much of a hiker. I came on this trip to hang out with George. Now I’ve spent the better part of two days wandering around with Kenny and his lame sarcasm, which he thinks is so funny. Meanwhile, Myra is probably getting all cozy with George while they wait for us to catch up.

Yours truly,

Tired and Annoyed

Oct. 31

Who plans a camping trip starting on Halloween? Like, what? This can’t possibly be a good time to be out here tramping about and acting like we know what we’re doing. At least George is here. He’s so dreamy and sweet. If only I could get Kenny to stop interrupting every time I get a chance to have a real conversation with George. That clown has some sort of attention deficiency, and if he doesn’t start leaving me alone soon, he’s going to cost me my chance. Myra looks like she’s about ready to swoop in on George any minute.

Yours truly,

Dates Should Be Indoors

Nov. 1

That idiot Kenny threw my backpack into the river and then lost it in the current! Now we have to search for it while George and Myra go check into the cabin we’re supposed to stay in for the second half of the trip so we don’t lose our reservation.

Yours truly,


Nov. 4

Day two in the cabin. Day two of watching Myra scoot closer and closer to George. Day two of brainstorming ways to get myself between them. Day two of plotting Kenny’s untimely demise.

Yours truly,

Two Days Left

Nov. 5

George said something weird while we were cooking dinner. He said Kenny has a thing for me. That he teases me as a way of flirting. What is he, nine? Is he going to throw sand in my face if we get too close to the ocean?

Yours truly,

Confused and Ignoring the Weird Warm Feelings from Kenny Possibly Liking Me

Oct. 24

Oh my goodness! George asked me if I want to join him and some friends on a camping trip next week! One of the people is that guy Kenny from the bar. He’s always seemed alright. Quirky. Myra is going, too. I think she has a boyfriend, so I should be able to have George all to myself! It’s going to be perfect!

Yours truly,


Dec. 25 

I took Kenny home with me for Christmas. My family loves him. I don’t really want to talk about it.

Yours truly,

Not Sure How I Ended Up Here, but I Might Be Falling In Love